This coming October, with the grace and miracle of the universe, I hope to experience the new joy and blessed occasion of sharing a new sense of compassion and love as a mother!
I have always known that I wanted to be a mother. I grew up loving kids spending my entire young adult life babysitting, playing with children and being a summer camp counselor. It always just felt natural and was what I loved. Now with the actual prospect of becoming a mother to my own little one, I am overwhelmed with excitement, anticipation, fear, and wonder! While I understand that we can never know what the universe holds up ahead, I do feel that this new experience is meant to be exactly as it is, to teach me so many things and hopefully be able to share this miraculous experience with others.
I once attended a wedding where the priest spoke of the Hebrew word for compassion, rechemet, which derives from rechem, which is Hebrew for womb. The miraculous existence of the womb is so clearly connected to how we as humans are able to share compassion with ourselves and with others. In order to be compassionate and to love others, we must first be compassionate to and be in love with ourselves.
As much as it is difficult to fathom, we all lived inside our biological mother's womb at the beginning of life. Our own form as we are now started out barely the size of a poppy seed, growing over time inside of her as we slowly transformed into the physical foundation of who we are today. During this special time inside of our mother's womb, we were equally dependent on our own health as we were on the health of our mother. Likewise, she was dependant on her health as well as ours in order to survive.
As tiny human beings growing at an amazing rate inside our mother's womb so many years ago, we were already in motion to developing into exactly who we are right now. Our mother also experienced the transformation of her body and life as she discovered this entirely new identity that she also learned to accept and love as her new self. This rhythm continued for 40 weeks as we both intimately integrated as one being and eventually gave us life on this earth - capable of passing on that love and compassion we experienced in the womb with others.
So as this new chapter of life develops, I am reminded of the priest's advice, love yourself first and the divine energy within you, then you will best be able to love another. As our bodies, minds and life continue to transform in ways beyond our imagination, it is important to do our best continue to love exactly who we are in each moment (even if your favorite yoga top & jeans don't fit and you can't jump back into chatturanga ; ), so we can focus on sharing the love that we cultivate within ourselves right into the heart of loved ones.
In case you are curios, my plan is to teach! I expect to teach as far along through this as my body and this beautiful little one growing inside me will allow and return to teach a few months afterwards with hopefully plenty of new lessons learned. Fortunately for me and other mom-to-be yoga teachers, many inspirational yogini teacher moms have pioneered and paved the path to doing it all - Gurmukh Khal Khalsa, Shiva Rea, Rainbow Mars, Anita Goa and many more. I hope to follow in their footsteps and continue my path as a yoga teacher. We will see what the universe has in store and I will be sure to continue with more updates.